Because I Can't Seem to Grow Up

Hey look, I'm posting on this thing again. So to the 3 of you on facebook and those ad computers that end up here one way or another, I'm back... or something more exciting, whatever fuck you.

Anyway, try as I might, I'm still stuck in a very adolescent place in my film viewing. It seems like for every gorgeous, poetic, beautiful art house or serious movie I watch, there's ten juvenile, loud and stupid action flicks. So I've hit a point now where I'm going to fucking put the art in the loud explody crap.

For the next few days, I'm going to be breaking down and discussing the action movie, and most prominently the scenes that make them fucking excellent. To start off, my next post will be about the best grand scale, absolutely epic in every sense of the word action scenes. Because we are focusing on action movies, I find that it's really better to just talk about the merits of individual set pieces as opposed to whole movies, because honestly, most action movies suck jurassic shit when it comes to everything that isn't action... with exceptions of course. But you know what? That's fine with me. I didn't pay 18 fucking dollars for a movie ticket to Pacific Rim because I wanted to see deep human drama. I wanted to see big mother fucking robots tussling with big mother fucking monsters.

Generally speaking, I'm a grumpy old man, but when it comes to action films, I'm a giddy hormone filled 13 year old. Now let's try to bring some scholarly stuff to the mix.  

Top 10 of 2012

I've finally caught up on most of the movies I wanted to see that came out in 2012, at least enough I believe for me to make my unnecessary Top 10 list of the year. I do have to say, the movies I thought would be in my top 10 at the beginning of the year are very different from the ones in my final list. I never would have thought that The Dark Knight Rises, Prometheus, or The Hobbit would all be so damn far from my top ten. Anyway, here it is:

Honorable Mentions:
Lincoln
Cloud Atlas
Safety Not Guaranteed
Jiro Dreams of Sushi
Haywire
Les Miserables

10) Silver Linings Playbook: I haven't been fully on board with Bradley Cooper as a serious actor until this flick. My god his performance here is something special. The rest of the cast is also pretty fantastic. A few months ago I made a list of romantic movies for people who hate romantic movies, this movie definitely deserves to be on the list.

9) Looper: It's a smartly made and extremely entertaining sci-fi thriller.

8) The Master: In my opinion, this is the best movie made this year. It's just a movie that's difficult to like, and even more difficult to fully comprehend. When you see it though, you know you're seeing something incredible, and it just latches onto your brain and refuses to let go. Joaquin Phoenix and Phillip Seymour Hoffman reach Daniel Day-Lewis levels with this flick.

7) Skyfall: Is this the best Bond flick ever made? Well, no probably not, but it is an extremely well made spy flick that manages to be modern and about our times and classical at the same time. We all knew Sam Mendes would bring it with the drama, but who knew he'd be such a kick ass action director. I'll take his approach to Marc Forster's any day. Also, the cinematography is gorgeous.

6) Zero Dark Thirty: This was the flick that caught me by surprise. I had absolutely no interest in seeing this, especially since I never even made it all the way through The Hurt Locker, but damn am I glad I did. The movie kept me locked in the whole time and made me care about a topic that I didn't honestly really ever think twice about. I'm frankly still kind of amazed by how much I dug this flick. You can be damn sure I'm gonna give The Hurt Locker a second look after this.

5) Django Unchained: The first hour of this movie is among my favorite things Tarantino has ever done, unfortunately it does start to drag a bit in the second act. Still, this is an entertaining fuck all crazy Western (Or Southern) filled with that wonderful Tarantino dialogue.

4) Argo: Of the movies nominated for Best Picture, this is my choice for winner. A really well done thriller, with a great comedic second act. The final 30-40 minutes though, holy shit does Affleck build up the tension. I can't remember the last time I wanted to stand up and cheer at the end of a movie. My friend had residual stress for an hour after watching the movie. Can't think of higher praise than that for a thriller.

3) The Raid: [Technically made in 2011, the movie wasn't released theatrically here or in Indonesia until 2012 so I'm counting it] The best pure action movie I've seen in a LONG time. My personal list of absolutely untouchable action movies before seeing this flick was very short, James Cameron's Terminator 2: Judgement Day, and John Woo's Hard Boiled. This movie has joined that list.

2) The Avengers: The only really geeky movie to make my list in a year full of really geeky movies. Of all the other geek fare this year though, this was the only one that absolutely 100% met my expectations. It was exactly the movie it should have been.

1) Moonrise Kingdom: Sometimes, Wes Anderson gets a little too Wes Andersony, and frankly, after The Royal Tenenbaums, as his movies got more experimental, it seemed like his characters and plot got lost in the visuals. Then I saw this movie. I am completely head over heels in love with Moonrise Kingdom. Great performances from a pretty amazing cast, but frankly, the two kids walk away with it. This is such a pure piece of filmmaking that makes me wish I lived in a different time. Like Anderson's Bottle Rocket it shows us how unbelievably stupid cynicism is, and in a world that's as fucked and bitter as ours, something like that is wonderful. It makes me nostalgic for a part of my life that I frankly never had. Despite loving all the movies on this list, I have little(probably inconsequential) issues with all of them, that is except for Moonrise Kingdom.


Movies I still desperately need to see:
Life of Pi
Cabin in the Woods
Amour
Beasts of the Southern Wild
The Grey
Bernie
The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Man With the Iron Fists

I was probably more biased towards liking this movie than anything else this year. Sure, the idea of The Avengers, a new Ridley Scott Alien movie, the final Nolan Bat movie, and a new Bond flick all got me twitching with excitement at the beginning of the year, but an honest to god kung fu flick in the style of Chang Cheh's work at the Shaw Brothers? Anybody who knows me knows that is 100% my kind of movie.

Reaction to the actual flick? Mildly disappointed.

Good:

• This is a surprisingly pretty film to look at. Credit to the Cinematographer Chan Chi Ying for making one beautifully sumptuous looking kung fu flick.
• It's funny, at least as funny as a wonderfully bad old chop socky picture.
• You can tell RZA was filled with creative ideas for the weapons, characters, and locations.
• The opening and closing credits are my absolute favorite things I've seen in a theater this year. 
• Like all the great old school kung fu flicks, it may know everything happening is completely ridiculous, but it takes it seriously. To clarify, it doesn't make a joke of the character's names, the crazy weapons or hair, and the insane plot.

Not So Much:

• The acting in this flick ranges from delightfully fun (Russel Crowe), to servicable (Lucy Liu) to bland as shit (Unfortunately, RZA and most of the other cast)
•  For what's obviously supposed to be a big Shaw Brothers Kung Fu Chop Socky Homage, there really isn't much kung fu. You know what, I'll be less specific with that comment, there really isn't much action in general. 
• The plot is going in 15 different directions at all times.
• The pacing is pretty messy.
• When you have one of the absolute best Action Choreographers working today, like Corey Yuen, you don't hide his amazing work by shooting at awkward angles and editing it to hell.
• When RZA initially chopped the movie, it was 4 hours long. This final movie is 95 minutes. You cut that much out of any movie and it's not gonna be too pretty.

Basically, for a movie that should have been an absurd, fun, instant cult classic, it ends up being just a bit dull.   This flick, like The Spy Who Loved Me, never lived up to it's opening. That doesn't mean don't watch it my any means, it's a matinee movie, something to watch with a bunch of friends before your actual plans for the evening. Let's just hope we get a real director's cut dvd. 

Final Score: 6/10

Ten Romantic Movies for People Who Hate Romantic Movies

This is just something I've been mulling over for a while. Nowadays, the general perception of a romantic movie is what I would describe as The Notebook or a knock off of The Notebook. My friend summed up his thoughts on romantic movies as such, "Two people about to kiss, eyes closed, beautiful backdrop."

In my opinion it's kind of bullshit that the general idea of a romantic movie has been tainted into this homogenized, pre-packaged vanilla on a waffle cone. So here is my attempt at making a list of movies, that in my opinion are romantic, but also, how do I put this, isn't exploitation cinema for lonely women. And guess what? There's even movies here that guys will like!

In alphabetical order:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (dir. Michel Gondry)

The Graduate (dir. Mike Nichols)

Happy Together (dir. Wong-Kar Wai)

In the Mood for Love (dir. Wong-Kar Wai)

Phantom of the Paradise (dir. Brian De Palma)

Punch-Drunk Love (dir. P.T. Anderson)

True Romance (dir. Tony Scott)

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (dir. Jacques Demy)

Wall-E (dir. Andrew Stanton)

Wild at Heart (dir. David Lynch)

Looking at the list, I'd say that with the exception of maybe In the Mood for Love, and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg all of these movies can be enjoyed by anybody. Although I do think The Umbrellas of Cherbourg is the greatest romantic movie ever made.

Also note that In the Mood for Love is the middle part of a trilogy starting with Days of Being Wild, and concluding with 2046.

The Raid: Redemption

Oh man, ooooh man, we gotta talk a bit about perhaps the best pure action flick since John Woo's UH-MAZING "Hard Boiled."

First let's talk a bit about the lineage of the great action movies. To my mind the Action/Adventure genre didn't exist until Hitchcock's "North by Northwest." With it's many locales, big stars, and the many plot twists and turns it is in my opinion the grandfather of all modern adventure. We can then sum up the next several decades of great adventure flicks with two names, James Bond and Indiana Jones. Granted there were plenty others, but if you walk up to anybody, regardless of whether they watch movies or not, they know James Bond and Indiana Jones.

Now I personally believe there is a big distinction between Action movies and Adventure movies. Obviously the two borrow from each other, and usually go hand in hand, but there are differences. Indiana Jones and the original Star Wars trilogy is perhaps the perfect realization of this genre and to this day Hollywood has the monopoly on great adventure films. Pure action movies though are a different thing entirely, and in this specific genre within a genre is where Asians show dominance over us here in the States (as I've talked about in older posts).

To my mind there are three perfect action movies. "Die Hard," "Hard Boiled," and now "The Raid: Redemption."(From here on out I'll just refer to it as The Raid) I don't feel I need to explain why the first two movies in that list are great and important works in the action genre, but now "The Raid" is not just stepping up to challenge the throne of those two flicks, it's at the very least as good as they are.

If you wanna see the most bone crunching, physical, ass whooping film in twenty years, you wanna watch "The Raid." If you're like me, and "Hard Boiled" has in effect ruined action movies for you because it just can't live up to it, you need to watch "The Raid." If you are fucking sick of seeing trailers promising a big bad ass action flick, and then just getting second rate, sedated, and phoned in Jason Statham or Luc Besson, you need to watch "The Raid." If you give two shits about movie making, you need to watch "The Raid."

In effect, "The Raid" is an action movie stripped down to it's barest essence. It gives you just enough character development and just enough story to care about what's happening, and that's it. Listen, I don't know about you, but I don't walk into an action movie so I can watch once great actors ham shit up in fake military uniforms for an hour and a half before it all ends in some ridiculous, disappointing, and ultimately ineffective action set piece. "The Raid" delivers on the promise of every great action movie made, pretty much ever. Suddenly "300" and "The Expendables" look like "Harold and Maude" and "Sophie's Choice."

To those interested in the craft of filmmaking, "The Raid" offers two important lessons, how to do sparse but effective storytelling, and how to film a motherfucking fight scene. For everyone else, all you need to know is this movie is gonna kick your ass in the best possible way.

The Life of Sir Run Run Shaw

One night I was doing some random movie research, one thing led to another and somehow I ended up reading up on the life of Sir Run Run Shaw.

I'm a big fan of kung fu flicks, and those who love kung fu have to know about the Shaw Brothers Studios. You may remember it as the Chinese logo that showed up before Kill Bill starts.

Shaw Brothers studios is responsible most notably for all the great kung fu flicks out of Hong Kong from the 60's and 70's, and is headed by two men, Sir Run Run Shaw and his brother Dr. Runme Shaw. Both lead some amazing lives, but I'm gonna talk about Sir Run Run Shaw(yes that's really his name, get over it).

He was born in 1907, no one knows the date or month. And I might as well say this now, yes, he's still alive and kicking.

In the 1920's at the age of 19, he and his brother Runme traveled to Singapore and created a chain of cinemas still running to this day.

In the 1950's or so he and his brother create the famous Shaw Brothers Studios, which was the biggest power in movie making in Hong Kong through the 60's and 70's. His impact just here alone would have him marked in cinematic history forever.

Unfortunately he made two big mistakes, the first was passing on a young kid known as Bruce Lee, the second was missing out on Jackie Chan eight years later.

As a result, in the 1980's he focused on television, and created TVB, which is the biggest fucking channel for Chinese programming. Hell, my folks, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, 18th uncle twice removed, all living here in the states all watch that channel. That's a Hong Kong channel, not an American channel, or even something like BBC America. Huge.

In 1974 he was appointed a Commander of the Order of the British Empire. He was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 1977.

He is a member of the way exclusive, way historic London Gentleman's Club White's, whose former members include so much European royalty from the 1600's till now that it boggles the mind.

Lest you think his impact never reached the States, without him a little movie called Blade Runner would not exist. Yeah, you're welcome planet earth.

His wife died at the very full age of 85 in 1987. In 1997, at 90 fucking years old, he traveled to Las Vegas to remarry.

In 2004, at the age of 97 he created The Shaw Prize which is known as the Nobel Prize of the East. The award is to scientists in the field of Astronomy, mathematics, and life and medical science and is for $1,000,000. That's US currency, not HK currency.

Literally less than 4 months ago, at the age of 104, he has finally decided to retire. Let me spell that out, ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR YEARS OLD, AND HE IS BARELY RETIRING.

He has donated hundreds upon hundreds of millions of dollars to charity and has a net worth of $3.5 billion.

If that isn't a very full life, then I just don't know what is.

The Best of Asian Action Cinema Part III: Ip Man

Let's just get this one out of the way.

Ip Man

Those who know me know I love Ip Man. In particular I love this scene. Anyone who has spent any time in my house has probably had to sit through this scene several times.

The flick is a sort of biographical film on the real life man who trained Bruce Lee. It's pretty ridiculous to assume the amount of crazy shit that happens in this flick happened in real life, but frankly, I just don't give a shit.

The fight is choreographed by Sammo Hung, who is one of the great living legends of modern kung fu flicks, and I think his greatest accomplishment here is being able to make a 1 vs. many fight not look like just of series of 1 vs. 1 fights. Let's face it, in any fight scene where it's one versus a bunch, everyone always just kind of stands in the background while the hero takes them out one by one. I don't think that's something that can really be avoided. This scene however, is the closest I've ever seen to how I imagine several fighting one would look like. It's pretty much the balls.

The Best of Asian Action Cinema Part II: Chocolate

I must admit, I get a certain amount of joy in seeing a skinny little girl somehow kick the living shit out of however many fucking thugs are in this scene. Especially if that skinny little girl has autism (in the movie, not in real life). Talk about a fucking handicap.

In typical Thai movie fashion, it has a completely ludicrous story involving a girl with autism who learns to fight from watching martial arts flicks. But if sitting through silly nonsense like this will reward me with action scenes like these, then I'm happy.

Chocolate

I remember when I was first watching the flick, for the first couple fights I had a hard time believing what was happening on screen. Obviously this is a ridiculous action flick, but it seemed forced at first. In my opinion this was probably because in the Thai flicks, they seem to follow this idea that everything is one or two big hits. Think Bruce Lee, or John Wayne I guess. It's just one big punch and that's that. So in the beginning, it was strange watching this little girl kick a guy twice her size in the stomach once and he was down for the count.

However, the flick seemed to build up to this final set piece. As it progressed the fights got more elaborate and more impressive, leading up the the Holy Shitness of this scene. If you watch the movie, the end credits has a Jackie Chan style blooper reel, and you see that when those guys fall, they have nothing more than a little wire slightly(and I really do mean slightly) slowing down their fall.

I think it's a great little piece of brutal ass kicking that's more impressive than anything you're ever gonna see The Rock or Bruce Willis perform.

Chocolate is on Netflix Instant for those who wanna check it out.

Note: I know it's kinda stupid to just link the video as opposed to posting it here, but I really don't wanna bother figuring out how to do it.

The Best of Asian Action Cinema Part I: The Introduction

I love Asian action movies. I find them to be just, so many times better than what gets put out here stateside. Sure we have the money to create amazing large scale shit going bam, which is fun, but the stuff that comes out of Hong Kong, Mainland China, Japan, Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam and the rest of the continent is nothing short of art and pure cinema.

So here we are, I'm gonna post and talk about what are, in my opinion, some of the greatest action and fight scenes throughout Asia, past to present. A few biases first of all. Personally, I find the stuff out of Hong Kong and Mainland China to be the absolute best, but strong contenders are coming from all sides now, making it a great time to be a fan of action movies.

What's the main difference?

Well, the big one, we can see what the fuck is going on in an Asian fight scene, as opposed to how things look here, which is chopped to hell. Three reasons for this:

1) Directors here may simply prefer the look of shaky cam way up close action editing believing it to create a more intense and chaotic atmosphere, which it kind of does.

2) We just don't have actors who have spent their whole lives practicing and perfecting any of the martial arts, so we have to cut constantly to hide the stunt doubles required for much of the action.

3) Insurance! When you see someone fall off a roof and smack onto the ground 30 feet below in, let's say a Thai movie, that person is pretty much really falling off that roof at full speed and smashing into the ground. That type of shit won't fly here in the states.

Since we're talking about the quick cut, up close action style here in the states, we might as well go to the big source responsible for it's popularization, The Bourne movies, particularly those directed by Paul Greengrass.

The Bourne Supremacy

Now compare that to another 1 on 1 fight from Hong Kong. Try to ignore the complete absurdity of how far he throws that little girl.

Flash Point

Now I'm not saying that you have to like the second one better, you can like whatever the fuck you want, but one has to admit that Flash Point allows you to see what happens and keeps the intensity high. Whereas with Supremacy, yeah, you can tell what's basically happening but it just feels kind of fake. It's a fight scene that's the product of editing and tricky camera work, not true ability from the actors.

Therein lies another bias of mine. I truly believe that when it comes to action, the less aware the audience is of a camera the better. By this I mean that a fight scene is not the place for the director to show off his ability behind a camera.

There has been a slight resurgence lately here in the States of solid, comprehensible action in films like Kill Bill, some of Scott Pilgrim, some of Zack Snyder's work, Drive, and most notably Haywire.

Here

But that's enough of that. This is gonna be about Asian cinema, so get ready, cause it's gonna be one hell of a load of crazy.

Ghost Protocol

While most people spent New Year's Eve celebrating in some way, I actually pretty much holed up in my room and watched all six Rocky films, which was great as I haven't seen any of them aside from I and IV, so I got to see the whole story arc unfold over the course of a day. It was one hell of a journey and I intend to write a bit on each of the flicks.

However today is dedicated to Brad Bird's Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol.

My viewing of the Mission films actually occurred pretty late, having not seen any of them until well after M:I 3 came out. At some point while digging around the house I saw that my dad actually owned the first two movies, and later that night I found the third one in a blowout bin for 3 bucks so I picked it up and began my journey into the M:I world.

I enjoyed the films very much, seeing them all as great pieces of popcorn entertainment. What I found more interesting however, were the filmmakers behind each of the flicks. The directors of each of the movies were, at least in my opinion, some of the greatest talents in their field. Just as the Alien movies have this amazing pedigree, so too does the Mission franchise. My absolute love for Brian De Palma is no secret, but then you throw in the greatest action director alive John Woo and modern day geek maestro J.J. Abrams and that's an impressive resume.

I always saw the Mission films as escapist fun, and I'm sure each of the director's knew and followed that form stepping in. However, each of the movies had their own strengths and weaknesses. The first Mission had a plot no one could follow, but also carried with it absolutely breathless suspense, as well as a classical spy feel. The second is almost cartoonishly goofy, but it had John Woo's amazing action direction. III finally had a story you could keep up with that made you care about the characters, as well as a great villain in Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but it lacked the, I guess elegance that the more experienced De Palma and Woo brought.

Finally, the fourth installment has released, Brad Bird was chosen to helm and he is yet another extremely talented and loved director. I really liked Mission I and III and liked certain aspects of II, but Ghost Protocol is the first film in the franchise to feel complete. It takes all the strong points and elements from the first 3 and combines them to create a film that is frankly leaps and bounds above the others.

If one were to study Bird's prior films, they would notice that his strengths in characterization and action are really among the best out there right now. So what if the movies were animated? Frankly it's ridiculous that in this day and age many still look at animation as an inferior art form, used only as children's entertainment, or as crude sitcoms. Regardless, he has always had strengths as a director that would lend themselves greatly to adventure or suspense films.

Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol has both. It is without question the best of the franchise and in my opinion, one of the best pieces of big screen entertainment I've seen in a long time.

*Note: Among other things, this movie has a sequence in which Ethan Hunt scales the world's tallest building. It is absolutely edge of your seat mind blowing and actually gave me a bit of vertigo. This scene alone is worth the added price of admission for an imax ticket.

Stream of Consciousness: John Carpenter

This is just copied over from my blog on Suicide Girls, cause I posted it there first. Also, shits acting weird and I'm too lazy to figure out how to fix it, so just highlight ever the area below to see the text.

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New post, still just rambling on about movies.

As a movie fan I'm often asked what's new that I've seen, and honestly, I never know how to answer that question. Well I mean, sure if I happened to just catch a flick in theaters then I'll answer with that, but now that I'm working full time, often with overtime on weekends, it's hard for me to find the time to get out to the cinemas to see something. Besides, as a movie geek I've always been the type who watches films in waves of directors. I'll go through a Hitchcock phase, or David Lynch, or Scorsese, or De Palma or whatever. Right now I'm going through a pretty hard John Carpenter binge.

As of this moment, the Carpenter flicks I've seen are Halloween, Escape from New York, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, They Live, Assault on Precinct 13, and Escape from L.A.

If I had to choose a favorite movie, I'd have to go with Big Trouble, it's just... the greatest movie ever made. It certainly helps if I'm in an altered state of mind. After that it's sort of the big jumble of the rest of his stuff. Although I have to ask, am I the only person who likes Escape from L.A.? I mean, sure it's campier and definitely stupider... and more poorly written, but it's just so much fun. And Snake's such a bad ass!

Anywhoo, no point to this blog, just rambling on. If you are reading this though, and you happen to be a fan of Master John Carpenter, then let me know what your favorites are.

Also since I'm still going through De Palma pretty badly, let me know what your favorite of l'incorruptible is.

Brian De Palma, Ranked

Bored, wanted to type something up about flicks but couldn't think of anything, here we are.

I've become even more obsessed with Brian De Palma since my initial post about the man way back when. So I decided to look at all of his films that I own and have seen and am going to list them in order of favorite to least favorite. There are still several of his flicks I haven't seen, mostly cause I don't want to, such as Wise Guys, The Bonfire of the Vanities, and Mission to Mars. There are also a few I really want to see but haven't yet. When I watch them I'll come back and add them to the list. They would be The Fury, Casualties of War, Redacted, and his early comedies with De Niro, Greetings and Hi, Mom!

Note: I've enjoyed all the films listed, just to varying degrees.

15. The Black Dahlia: This one comes in last mostly because it was massively disappointing. There are great things in the flick, but unfortunately it was cut down from De Palma's original director's cut by nearly an hour. Leaving us with a movie with way too many plot threads. Still, there's some great stuff on display here, I just wish I could get that director's cut.

14. Phantom of the Paradise: The Black Dahlia was the only film on this list I had any complaints about. Phantom is a great little rock musical, only this far back cause I like his other flicks more.

13. Snake Eyes: It's kind of weak in some of it's execution, but this flick has some of De Palma's most breathtaking shots and displays of visual excellence. Also, 14 minute tracking shot.

12. Obsession: Closest thing we'll ever get to a new Hitchcock flick.

11. Sisters: Maybe it's the low budget vibe, but this flick is creepy as hell. Also amazing use of split screen.

10. Carlito's Way: A somber, quieter gangster flick. And that end sequence in the train station? Probably one of the greatest things De Palma has ever done.

9. Mission: Impossible: No, I do not know what the story is. Some sort of spy stuff with betrayals and shit, but it is fucking entertaining.

8. The Untouchables: Great upbeat, exciting, popcorn crime flick. Makes you feel good don't it?

7. Raising Cain: The movies pretty much disliked, but I think it's a great little piece of De Palma fun. I guess it's like Diet De Palma, but Lithgow in this is wonderful.

6. Femme Fatale: Won't say anything other than it's definitely worth your time.

5. Body Double: I think this would be De Palma at his visual storytelling best. And shows that just cause you're dealing with trashy material doesn't mean it can't be great. Not everything needs to be Raging Bull

4. Scarface: I stupidly resented the film for a long time because 1) Everyone loved it and 2) It was nothing like either The Godfather or Goodfellas. I was stupid, how dare a film be it's own thing, and loved by many people.

3. Blow Out: Honestly, it may be his best film. It's certainly De Palma and everyone else at the height of their powers. I will saying nothing else so you can discover it for yourself.

2. Dressed to Kill: Soooo close to being my favorite De Palma flick. It actually might be, but at the moment it's number 2. As it stands this is still the only De Palma movie I've gotten to see in theaters, and I gotta tell you, it's just about the best slasher flick I've ever seen.

1. Carrie: Everyone has their own ideas of whats scary. I honestly think it's fucking stupid to be truly afraid of monsters and vampires. You show me a creepy as fuck mother with hair and a face like a porcelain doll walking towards you with a knife as her head bobs around like it's about to fall off? Add to that the fact that she's an insane religious person whose own fear of sexuality has led to the complete torment and destruction of her own child? Yeah, I find that fucking scary. And the flicks pretty damn great too.

But the Man on the Television Said it Sucks!

Since I had last weekend off, I had planned to catch up on my summer movies. Instead I just dicked around the internet and went to a family gathering. I did make it out to see at least one flick though, unfortunately I already wrote about Super 8, can't do that again. I did still want to get something else up this week, keep the habit going and what not, so this is the result. Sure it's been said so many times that if it were food it would actually make the big lump at work full, but I'm saying it anyway.

So I'm looking at the reviews for Green Lantern, and yeah, it's looking pretty shit. I wouldn't say I was eagerly awaiting the flick (I think the only movies I'm eagerly awaiting this year are Scorsese's Hugo Cabret, Spielberg's Tintin and Fincher's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo), but it was something I was looking forward to. As I've said many times in the past, I'm a very director oriented movie buff, and GL is directed by Martin Campbell. I know Campbell is far from a great director. He's definitely made several piles of turd, among them The Legend of Zorro (Disappointing seeing as Mask was great) and Edge of Darkness (So we get him walking in heaven but no scene of Mel Gibson licking his daughter's vibrator? WTF?), but he also made some flicks I really dig, most notably Casino Royale, which to me, is the epitome of the modern American action flick. For this reason alone, I will always keep him in the list of director's films I'll watch, pretty much no matter what.

So yeah, Green Lantern is getting some rancid reviews, but I'm still gonna watch it. And that's the attitude I'll take with any film I want to see. I honestly could not care less if a film I'm looking forward to gets ecstatic reviews, or just pure hatred. Yeah, it's nice if a film I dig is loved by many other people, but at the end of the day, it's my opinion. I can't speak for anyone else, I don't know how anyone else thinks, or how they would act, or how they feel about a movie. All I know with absolute certainty is what I think. I know that The King's Speech got good reviews, but I don't like it. I also know that Flash Gordon is generally disliked, but that I dig it.

Maybe I will hate GL, just as I've hated many movies I've seen in theaters. But after all the effort we put into getting excited for a movie, even if that's just saying, "I wanna see that flick," after watching a trailer or reading a synopsis, isn't it kind of a damn shame to not create your own opinion?

Super 8

Something that has always bothered me about when people write about a product or whatever is all the good things will be pointed out first, but then the final paragraphs of the review will be spent talking about all the things they didn't like. They even end their final sentence with something along the lines of, "Blahblah is a great product, however it does have several noticeable problems, if you can look past them then you should consider purchasing one." You know what impression this leaves me with?

This Product Sucks Monkey Balls.

And then of course you look at the score, at it's something like, 8.5 out of 10 or some other totally decent rating. It doesn't matter though, cause now all you really remember is that the reviewer had problems with it. So in an attempt to break that feeling, here's what I disliked about J.J. Abrams' Super 8 up front:

Just a bit too much time spent going to the military when what we want is to see the evolution of the children. That's who we care about.

Things got a bit too silly with the various shots of tanks rolling over and crazy action that seemed to be there for the sake of having something blow up.

The relationship of the main character and his father seemed to wrap up really quickly and in a manner that really didn't involve growth from either people.

Okay, that's out of the way, now on to the rest.

J.J. Abrams' had always made it clear that he wanted to make his sort of tribute film to 80's Spielberg. Interestingly, it's the second one that came out this year, the other one being Greg Mottola's Paul. Of course Paul was a wild comedy that paid homage in various ways to Spielberg and Science Fiction films, like Shaun was to zombies and Hot Fuzz to buddy cop pics. What Super 8 went for was to create an authentic Spielberg movie, think Planet Terror versus Death Proof.

In my opinion, he succeeded. He brought us back into the small town, the creative and interesting children, the heartache that lies in the characters, basically a beautiful portrait of small town Americana that can easily be it's own film, and then adds the supernatural element.

I have to say, I loved every second the young actors were on screen, it must be difficult to find, for lack of a better word, good young actors, Abram's has found at least six. In particular, I have to give credit to Joel Courtney and Elle Fanning who, in their performances gave us something to care about. It created a central focal point for the drama and story to unfold, just as Spielberg's best movies did.

The flick of course, also brought with it, a big budget and special effects not possible when Spielberg made movies like E.T. and Close Encounters. Abrams stages the action well and holds back on the shaky cam stuff he did in Star Trek. The monster is appropriately creepy, threatening, and kinda lovable. And the film has a few truly great jump scare moments.

This is not my favorite movie of the Summer(well, because the Summer isn't over yet so how would I know?) But if I had a kid and could only take him/her to one movie this summer, it would be Super 8... and it's great for everyone else too.

P.S. LENS FLARE!!!!!

What Makes One an Intense Mother F**king Film Geek?

This is, first of all, not really an answer to the above question. Really, it was just one of the many ridiculous thoughts that stampede through my head every day. Secondly, this bit was really just done for fun, there's no insight or anything contained below. I just wanted to post something today to get back into the habit.

The idea of those "Would you rather..." or other wacky hyphothetical questions is in many ways, pretty fucking stupid. At it's best it's filler talk for people who have nothing left to say as they wait in line to get the guy who sculpted Batman's nipple's autograph. And yet, you have to admit that under the right circumstances it can be entertaining as hell, okay so alcohol is usually involved, as well as situations that get more homoerotic by the second despite the fact that both guys would rather have their testicles pulled off than see a gay couple walking down the street. Fine.

Where was I going with this? Right, so anyway this morning, as I was getting ready for work, hopelessly dreaming about a world without warehouses and early hours, I had one of those hypothetical questions pop into my head.

If you had the opportunity to fuck any girl on the planet three times, at the cost of never being able to watch another film by [insert favorite director, genre, franchise, whatever], would you do it?

Now I'm a very director based movie geek. I'm very loyal to directors I dig, perhaps stupidly so, so I would take it in that direction. So to be fair, I'll choose a director I love who still has a lot of, ahem, life in him. So no De Palma, Scorsese, whatever. Why? Well it's not very fair if you choose a director that's already had a long illustrious career and whose best years are probably behind him. So for me, I'd choose someone like, P.T. Anderson, David Fincher, Wong Kar-Wai, Edgar Wright or something.

So would I do it? Well, ridiculous as it may seem to regular people, no. In fact, HELL NO! The cost of never being able to see Fincher's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, or the final film in the Blood and Ice Cream trilogy, or anything by P.T. Anderson ever is simply wayyyyyyy too much of a price. I don't care who or what you throw in front of me, movies shall always be my mistress.

Not in any way a big post, but damn I have to say I am excited as hell for David Fincher's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The man really is one of the greatest talents to have come out of the 90's and can direct the hell out of a "Mean Film," and it's been a long time since he's made a "Mean in your Mother Fucking Face Film."

Love the hell out of that poster, as well as the trailer. I prefer the Red Band International one as opposed to the one here in the States but both offer the same vibe.

Late thoughts on Thor

I'll admit I'm a bit behind when it comes to the summer flicks, but seeing as shit's starting to really ramp up right now I figured I'd spend some time going over the flicks as I see them. Now when I say I'm behind, I really do mean it, I mean, so far I've only seen Thor, not that I really intend to watch every big flick of the summer, but there are several that I want to see, that I simply haven't yet. But no worries, I've got this weekend off from work and I plan to do some major catching up.

That doesn't matter right now though cause right now it's time to talk about Thor. I'll admit, for someone who talks endlessly about being in the right mood to watch a film, I sure as hell walked into Thor in the wrong fucking mood. It wasn't that I didn't want to see it that night, I did, but it happened after a 9 and a half hour work day with the knowledge that I had to wake up at 6:30 the next morning to take tests for 5 hours. Regardless, I walked out relatively happy if not a bit underwhelmed. Even then though, I knew I would watch the flick at least once more.

So I saw it again, this time after a well rested day with a few friends, and did find that my enjoyment of the flick was greater, although the little problems I had initially were still there.

I don't wanna spend a bunch of time reviewing the movie or anything so I'll keep this with a simple group of things I liked and things I didn't.

Stuff I liked:

The actors were all pretty spot on, with Chris Hemsworth having that sort of great charisma that made him a believable douche you love as well as a great true hero at the end. Tom Hiddleston probably could have easily given an almost clown-like performance, but instead gives a calmer, and in many ways much more evil performance. One imagines that if someone were really a great trickster, they wouldn't be running around giggling like Mark Hamill as The Trickster from that Flash tv series. Granted there are a few moments where he lets out that sort of sinister smile that makes you feel like you really are staring at one dementedly brilliant mother fucker. Anthony Hopkins brought a lot of gravitas, Natalie Portman was good enough, Kat Dennings was funny, Stellan Skarsgard was a great grounded human character, Idris Elba was HOLY FUCK awesome and so on and so forth, next point.

Marvel seems to have their formula down to a science at this point as all of the films released through the Marvel Studios banner seem to have a very similar feel to them, and that's a good thing. If we're supposed to believe that they inhabit the same universe it'd be strange if all the films felt completely different.

Branagh brought a great sense of epicness and scope to the flick when we were in Asgard, which is really pretty amazing when you consider that you really only see like 3 actual places in Asgard, there's that initial throne room, the bridge, and random castle dungeons and such.

Final thing I dug, I mean, it was just a solid summer flick that didn't submit to endless scenes of action and explosions and actually provided us with some solid characters and story. Aside from the performances there was no single thing that really stood out as fantastic, it was a lot of little things, done right, that created a greater whole.

Things I didn't care for:

While the special effects for Asgard were appropriately beautiful, the rest of it was a mixed bag ranging from pretty decent, to well, pretty bad, particularly the ice effects, which were at some points laughably bad. The Destroyer looked pretty cool though.

Plain and simple, I did not like the action staging. There was never a moment where I was even remotely impressed, and more than once I was completely confused at what what happening on screen, but that's more a fault with me than anything else. Branagh is obviously a drama driven director and it's there that he excels.

For me, when we entered the second act and Thor first showed up on earth, we cut back to Asgard a few too many times, and in my opinion, it completely killed the momentum. Obviously when we head back for the big drama stuff like Loki finding a little something out about himself it's great. But did we really need ten minutes of Lady Sif and the Warriors Three sitting around basically saying that the situation sucked? I mean, we can see that it sucks, but now we wanna see what's gonna happen to Thor on Earth, not see you guys sit around bitching, again though that may just be me.

In closing, it's really pretty simple, Thor is solid summer entertainment.

It's the Grand Return!

[Sensitive readers may wish to avoid this piece]

Apologies to the three or so readers that I have for my long silence, but try as I might, I couldn't muster up the strength in my fingers to type out a new piece for this blog with work constantly hammering down. But today, something magnificent happened, I got Saturday off which means I will have two consecutive days off. I'm very excited. So as a means of celebrating in a very geeky manner, I decided to finally post something new.

Now I've been looking through my film collection for a while now, and browsing the internet for a flick that would be worthy of my first new post in very nearly a month, and I couldn't decide on anything. Then I realized something, I have done nothing but kiss director's asses since I started this, so tonight, I am going to chokeslam a film straight to hell.

Like just about anybody who watches movies, there are many flicks I dislike, and even downright hate. Some, maybe unfairly. For example, "Click," that movie with Adam Sandler about the remote control thing. There's probably nothing really wrong with it, but it's the first flick I saw that made me realize how bland most movies are, so I've got a special type of hatred

in my heart for that. But that's not what I'm gonna talk about, what I'm gonna talk about is something that is completely and utterly deserving of every ounce of hatred thrown it's way. This film has an amazing first rate cast, including Malcom McDowell, Helen Mirren, and Peter O'Toole, oh and it's also sold in porn stores. You may know that there can only exist one film like this, and that is the Bob Guccione(Look him up) produced, "Caligula."

This is a film, that is unofficially billed as the most expensive porn ever made. The film where the director actually disowned it. The film, where it's lead actor, Malcom McDowell, said after watching it, "Now I know what a woman feels like when she's been raped." The film, that Roger Ebert actually gave zero stars. THE FILM WHERE YOU GET TO SEE TWO WOMEN RUB BLOOD ON THEIR PRIVATE PARTS AND PISS ON A DEAD GUY AND NO THAT IS NOT STAGE PISS, THEY ARE IN FACT PEEING ON THAT ACTOR. This is also the film I paid thirty dollars to own on blu ray, only to immediately sell back, and I'm not kidding here, for ONE DOLLAR, and I was glad to get it.

But come on, I had to see it. How could you not want to see something that is so absolutely hated, and yet stars an amazing award winning cast? It was interesting, as I watched it, I didn't really react, or say anything, or even move, I just sat there and let it wash over me. Then, about an hour or so into it, my sister comes into my room to tell me something so I pause it, only then did my mind go, "What in the blue hell am I watching?!?" It actually took me about half an hour to hit play and keep keep going.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like you can't find flicks with more horrendous shit happening in them, that's easy. What makes this film such a fucking travesty, is that it was supposed to be a major attempt to legitimize pornography in film, and instead takes the good name of movies, cinema, film, whatever and RAPES IT ON IT'S WEDDING NIGHT IN FRONT OF IT'S HUSBAND AND PISSES ON IT'S FACE. It is an absolute slight against anything that is good and holy about movies. It is very clearly nothing more than a heaping pile of steaming monkey shit.

Interestingly enough, I actually made it through almost the entire film before I finally hit that last straw moment and saw absolutely no redemption for the flick. Call me shallow, but when I see a two year old girl get her head caved in by three guys as blood starts spewing everywhere, I find it hard to defend anything about the flick. Let me say that again, I was, up until the very end, able to defend a flick that has plot keywords in imdb that include: Orgy, Horse, Decay, Bestiality, Banned film, Sadism, Sperm, Human animal relationship, Rough sex, Rape victim, Corpse, She-male, Cousin cousin relationship, Peep Hole, Cum in mouth, Actual animal killed, Virgin blood, Urination, Anal Fisting, Forced prostitution, Golden shower, Grandfather grandson relationship, and oh my god there is so much more. But it was like, that was just one too much. There is now absolutely nothing I can defend about this movie, as I said, it deserves every single ounce of hatred and ill will it gets. It is absolute trash, and you should totally make every effort to see it. Come on, you have nothing better to do.

Quick Thoughts on Sucker Punch

It's been taking longer than I thought it would to really get used to my new schedule with work and everything, so there have been fewer posts here than usual. But I did just see Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch this evening and wanted to post a few quick thoughts on the flick.

The thing that strikes me most is that this is a movie for those who love action scenes, not necessarily those who love action movies. You see there is a big fucking difference between the two, I mean, consider that Dirty Harry and Die Hard are considered classics of the action genre, and yet they both have very few actual sequences of action, instead they had an action oriented story, with terrorists or serial killers or whatever. Well Sucker Punch is the opposite end of that spectrum. This is still an action movie, but people who love action movies may not necessarily dig it, or at the very least those who dig American action flicks.

The movie is filled with large scale action sequences. I mean, after the first act and they find out what they need to collect, it basically becomes a string of battles, fights, and whatnot. I am a lover of Hong Kong action and martial arts movies, where the focus really is about the set pieces and fighting, and I have to admit, even I was a bit exhausted by the third or forth large action set piece in a row. What do I mean by in a row? Well, the flick has one huge sequence, then pretty much immediately afterwards, has another one. It's all coming at you at a rapid fire pace and pretty much doesn't slow down ever. So yeah, I get why a large group of people would dislike the movie, but personally, I savor the amount of work that goes into making a scene like these work, so I still dug the flick quite a bit. Others who want a story, well, you're not gonna get much.

Aside from the action pieces though, I have to admit I really liked the opening five or ten minutes, however long Sweet Dreams is playing on the screen. I found that it was just as great as Zack Snyder's openings to both Dawn of the Dead and Watchmen.

The film goes really dark in the final act, I mean, if I personally had any real complaint against the flick(cause I don't find the action to be a problem) it's that by ending it the way it did, it kind of saps all the energy the first two acts of the flick gave you and has you leaving in a sort of somber place. It wasn't anything too bad though, and is definitely not enough to really sway your opinion of the flick one way or the other, cause let's face it, you've made up your mind about the flick long before the final act.

All right, that's what I've got for now, as I sit with the flick I may come up with some more stuff, but all in all, I personally dug it, although I guess that I'm pretty heavily in the minority here.

My Blueberry Nights

I know I said I wouldn't do any more WKW, but I'm not quite ready to move on yet, and I just watched this flick today, so I decided to post my thoughts. After this though, no more WKW, and I think I'm finally gonna talk about some flicks I don't love so that you're not just reading me gushing like a little girl over every movie. For now though, courage.

When I started my director study of Wong Kar-Wai there was always one film I had kind of avoided. I mean, it wasn’t like I was actively against watching the flick, I just felt it more important to see his other work first. That film was his first American feature, “My Blueberry Nights.” There were several reasons for this, first of all, there was the simple fact that WKW is a Hong Kong director, so to me it only made sense that I watch the films that made him famous first. Then there was the fact that “My Blueberry Nights” was his only film to not be critically adored. Of course this is no final basis to go on, I mean I love lots of films critics don’t. But you know, it has to be said that seeing the lower ratings certainly affects my choice of films. As I started watching his movies, I then didn’t quite want to see the flick because I wouldn’t see any of his stable of actors which I had come to expect from his movies, particularly Tony Leung, who has been in all but one of WKW’s movies, and is, in my opinion one of the finest actors working today, anywhere.

Of course eventually I finished his Hong Kong movies, and still craving more WKW while I await his newest feature, “The Grandmasters,” I decided to finally check Blueberry Nights out.

To be honest, I’m once again annoyed at myself for not having seen the film sooner(This is something that happens to me quite a bit). I mean, it’s very much in the vein of his other films which I adore. It’s still got his usual themes of lost loves and fleeting time. It has that signature WKW directorial touch, basically it’s still his movie. Sure I miss the presence brought forth by one of his usual actors, but in making this film, he introduced me to new actors(well, sort of) as well as new music.

I don’t think it’s possible to watch a WKW flick for the first time and not find some songs you want to add to your play list. I know I’ve already beaten this point to death, but his use of music for his films among the best. I would easily rank him up there with Scorsese, Tarantino, and to a lesser degree, Wes Anderson. “My Blueberry Nights” features a pretty heavy jazz score, not surprising seeing as the film stars Norah Jones.

Speaking of which, this is Norah Jones’ first acting role. She never auditioned for the role, it was simply offered to her by WKW, a daring move but one that I think paid off. She’s good in the role, I mean, she’s not some amazing revelation or anything, but I think she does bring her own certain charm to the role. And by casting someone who we’re not used to seeing in a movie, it makes it easier to identify with the character.

The movie is often criticized for having too little story, and I know that with this paragraph I can’t possibly be helping my argument that I do think story is the most important element of a narrative movie, but a grand story was unnecessary for this movie. I guess it could be said that WKW is the enemy of people who want a great story as he focuses far more on character, mood and atmosphere. Like I’ve said, his movies are about the individual moments contained, like a CD. I find that the story in this movie, or I guess the framework of the plot, is there really just to introduce us to different characters, and to allow us a peek inside the lives of others.

“My Blueberry Nights” is an almost dreamlike movie, which asks us to simply sit back and allow the movie to wash over us. I dug it a lot.