Thursday, June 9, 2011

What Makes One an Intense Mother F**king Film Geek?

This is, first of all, not really an answer to the above question. Really, it was just one of the many ridiculous thoughts that stampede through my head every day. Secondly, this bit was really just done for fun, there's no insight or anything contained below. I just wanted to post something today to get back into the habit.

The idea of those "Would you rather..." or other wacky hyphothetical questions is in many ways, pretty fucking stupid. At it's best it's filler talk for people who have nothing left to say as they wait in line to get the guy who sculpted Batman's nipple's autograph. And yet, you have to admit that under the right circumstances it can be entertaining as hell, okay so alcohol is usually involved, as well as situations that get more homoerotic by the second despite the fact that both guys would rather have their testicles pulled off than see a gay couple walking down the street. Fine.

Where was I going with this? Right, so anyway this morning, as I was getting ready for work, hopelessly dreaming about a world without warehouses and early hours, I had one of those hypothetical questions pop into my head.

If you had the opportunity to fuck any girl on the planet three times, at the cost of never being able to watch another film by [insert favorite director, genre, franchise, whatever], would you do it?

Now I'm a very director based movie geek. I'm very loyal to directors I dig, perhaps stupidly so, so I would take it in that direction. So to be fair, I'll choose a director I love who still has a lot of, ahem, life in him. So no De Palma, Scorsese, whatever. Why? Well it's not very fair if you choose a director that's already had a long illustrious career and whose best years are probably behind him. So for me, I'd choose someone like, P.T. Anderson, David Fincher, Wong Kar-Wai, Edgar Wright or something.

So would I do it? Well, ridiculous as it may seem to regular people, no. In fact, HELL NO! The cost of never being able to see Fincher's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, or the final film in the Blood and Ice Cream trilogy, or anything by P.T. Anderson ever is simply wayyyyyyy too much of a price. I don't care who or what you throw in front of me, movies shall always be my mistress.

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